Thursday, December 03, 2009

A pinch and an Em Dash

My mom was in town earlier this week. We took her car somewhere and came out to find this lovely scene:
Piss-poor parking job

If it's not obvious, my mom's car is on the right. The JERK's is on the left. The picture doesn't do the reality justice - there were probably three inches, if that, between their passenger side and my mom's driver's side. We were PISSED. I grabbed a piece of paper, a pen and left a scathing note on their windshield. (In retrospect, I could have been a lot meaner in the note. I SHOULD'VE been a lot meaner.) I climbed through my mom's passenger seat (in a skirt, no less), and slowly worked my way out of the spot. It was like world's biggest Game of Operation - "don't touch the sides!"

First the hit-and-run wench, whose damage has been estimated at $1,100, not including the value of Em's car seat, and then this jerk? Oh, and our recent flat tire. I could scream!

Having said all that, at least I have a cute kid. Those other asshat drivers? I'm sure their current and/or future offspring are UGLY.*

See? I have the potential to be MEANER!**

Onto the cute kid!




To the side

*And by "ugly" I mean "ugly in personality" because their parents are stupid and inconsiderate people! It's widely known that stupid and inconsiderate people typically breed other stupid and inconsiderate people!

**Ok, I guess I can only be meaner to an extent. Sigh...

"So you talked to Tammy? What's it like to stare in the eye of Satan's butt hole?" - Ron, Parks and Recreation


  1. I hate people who park like that. So incredibly rude. Ugh. I love the "license plates" you made.

    Your daughter is absolutely precious! So cute.

  2. You couldn't be mean if you tried. I, on the other hand, would've slammed my junker's door right into the other other car and driven away while singing a song.

  3. I hate parking douche bags.

  4. santa monica place?

  5. gah what a nightmare.On the other hand Miss Em sure is cute

  6. How hard it is to stay between the lines?! Ugh - I hate bad parkers!!

    And Em just gets cuter and cuter.

  7. Again - how do people think parking like that is nearly okay? It just goes to show that some people are downright a-holes.

    And that's 3 for you - so hopefully you're done with car issues for a LONG time!

  8. What the heck man! People suck! That last pic of Em, though? SO AWESOME. You definitely have a cuter kid. :-D

  9. Ooh, very reminiscent of an incident I had at the UPS store a while back only the guy in the truck actually was so sideways that his giant truck was behind my XTerra and I could not possibly get out. I knew who it was though so I went back in the store and rudely told him what he had done. He seemed sorry about it but he was a total asshat. I tell Rob all the time, if you're going to drive a large truck/SUV, you should have to pass a parking test before you can leave the lot with the new vehicle! AND swear not to be a lazy ass when parking your giant beast of a vehicle!

  10. ugh that is so annoying, i hate horrible drivers and parkers. i mean i'm a bad parker and all but not that awful.

    but at least little em is all sorts of adorableness.

  11. Like Ron White says, "You can't fix stupid".

  12. Soooo post this on

    But she is a doll!

  13. Karma is a bitch.

    On another note, your child is adorable, as always.

  14. That last picture of Em is one of my favorites of all time... So far.

  15. I must admit....the kid is freaking adorable.

  16. People are such jerks! sorry you had to deal with that!

    Oh, and I'm going to kidnap Em! She is a dollface! I <3 her!

  17. Ugh - annoying parkers are just ridiculous!!! Luckily you could get out of that spot!

    Pics of Em, on the other hand are ridiculously CUTE!