Sunday, September 12, 2010

7 years later...

...and my heart is still so heavy from having lost him.

Baby me

My 1st birthday

Dad & I

Giddy up

One of our last photos together
In Morro Bay

There's so much more I want to say. So much more that deserves to be said, but this has been a harder year than most for me -- thinking about all the "could've-beens" with he and Em in each other's lives. She would've loved him.

And he would've adored her.
To the point

Cristina: "There's a club. The Dead Dads Club. And you can't be in it until you're in it. You can try to understand, you can sympathize. But until you feel that loss... My dad died when I was nine. George, I'm really sorry you had to join the club."
George: "I... I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't."
Cristina: "Yeah, that never really changes."
- Grey's Anatomy

30 comments:

  1. Every year, I'm surprised another year has gone by. Thinking of you.

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  2. Your Dad lives on through your spirit and Em's smiles. For that, he's never gone. <>

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  3. thinking of you & wishing I could give you a hug.

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  4. Yes - he would have adored that little lady...and he is from afar.

    Hugs to you my friend!

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  5. I'm sorry Nanners, big hugs from me.

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  6. love you nans...so many hugs.

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  7. I cried while reading this. I'm thinking of you.

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  8. This made me cry, I am so sorry they did not get to meet and that you have to feel such pain. Thank god you have a beautiful and amazing family to support you. This was a beautiful post Nanette.

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  9. *sigh* My heart goes out to you. Cancer really is a shitty disease. I am so sorry it took your father away from you. He's your guardien angel and I'm sure Em DOES see him in her own way.

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  10. Cancer is such a bitch. I'm thinking of you today! Em has an angel looking over her for sure. *hugs*

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  11. I am crying! I'm sure Em is still able to appreciate some things about your dad through you (because I am sure that you've inherited great parenting qualities from him).

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  12. I am thinking of you and sending love your way my friend.

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  13. Ah yes, we are both members of the Dead Dads Club. And it's a pretty craptastic club to be in. But I know you do with Em that I do with E... you see little faces that are SO your dad, or she says things that you think, OMG my dad would have said that/cracked up at that - how does she know? And that's when you realize, that though he's not here in the flesh, he is here and he knows and loves Em.

    Much love and strength to you <3

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  14. I just read your post about how your father passed. I'm so so sorry. I feel your pain. I liked the quote about the Dead Dad's Club.

    Hang in there. Lots of hugs coming your way.

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  15. That quote is so perfect. I love the pictures of you together.

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  16. I never know what to say- I am so sorry for you and your family. He definitely would have adored Em. Big hugs and lots of love to you today.

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  17. That GA scene was super powerful for me. I totally remember it and related to it, as I do to this post.

    Big love from Seattle, friend.

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  18. Having a dad that awesome never leaves you. He's in your heart always.

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  19. Hugs to you, Nanette. Your dad's memory will live on in the photos and stories you share with Em.

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  20. I believe he looks over you and your baby girl. *hugs*
    btw-Em looks exactly like you when you were little. Beautiful :)

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  21. Anonymous8:41 PM

    I can't stop crying now. Unfortunately, I am a member of the club, too, also from cancer. I didn't realize we were in the same boat until I read your post. :( Big hugs to you.
    -Kasey (pink mama)

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  22. Hugs! Those are wonderful photos and memories.

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  23. that second photo is TOTALLY em!

    much love, my friend.

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  24. Anonymous2:23 AM

    I know how much you loved Victor and I know he loved you just as much. Yes, he would have adored Em but he will live on in your stories to her of him. Just like him, you are a wonderful parent to a very sweet girl. I love you both, my third daughter. Eleanor

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  25. {{hugs}}

    Btw, it is crazy how much Em looks like you at that age!!

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